I've been meaning to write this post for awhile, but every time I come to this page I seem to get writer's block. After some nagging from my best friend and a day spent sick in bed, I think it is only appropriate that I finish this post.
Long distance is a very close friend of mine (pun intended). I am no stranger to long distance relationships. At first, it began with long distance boyfriends, but now it has turned into a long distance relationship with my family and friends. Long distance can be wearing on the soul. It can be an evil thing setting off fights over petty subjects, crying spells, and feelings of loneliness. However, long distance can also be a great teacher of several lessons a glimpse of hope or light at the end of a long day.
My first long distance relationship started my senior year of high school. My boyfriend at the time graduated a year before me and moved 2 hours away to attend college. This first relationship taught me a lot about what it meant to love someone. It taught me patience, understanding, and just how much a long distance relationship relies on truth and communication. I'm trying to make this sound all poetic and hopefully my audience understands what my measly little 17 year old brain was dealing with during this relationship. I admitted defeat in this relationship and broke it off when the distance became too much for me to handle (I would like to take a moment and pause at this fleeting thought as I sit in a long distance relationship who is 17 hours by car away from me... end pause)
I enjoyed single life for all of about 1 month before I got into my next relationship. This time, I was the one leaving for college. I told myself I didn't want to get into a relationship right before leaving, but again, let's take a moment to evaluate my life at this point in time: 17, just graduated high school, no responsibilities, life is awesome. SURE LET'S GET INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP (this is me yelling at myself). My 2nd boyfriend and I managed about 6 months of long distance. We called and texted everyday. We managed trips to see each other every 2-3 weeks. I made him silly CD mixes and he gave me Tiffany's (smart, smart boy). Life was pretty fabulous and I thought I had FINALLY figured out long distance the second time around. I think there were a lot of things on my part that made this long distance relationship end on not so amazing terms. I battled clinical depression during this time in my life, which made communication and being so far away nearly impossible to handle. I think we were also very young and both at different moments in our life. We both dealt with the first year of college in different ways and our paths didn't necessarily align in the way we needed them to. I think I grew up a lot from this relationship and post this era of my life that I am extremely grateful for. I learned more about myself. I learned just who would be by my side for the rest of my life. I became grateful for my friends and family and just about everything in life. I appreciated the small moments and memories that filled my life.
About 8 months later, I met another boy who has slowly but surely turned into a man of great knowledge, passion, and understanding. I met Christopher when I least expected it, yet needed him in so many ways I didn't even understand. After 3 months of living in the same city, he moved back up to Oregon where we began our long distance relationship. I learned in this portion of my long distance saga that I enjoyed having "me" time and truly appreciated every waking moment I got to spend with my boyfriend when I did see him. Fast forward 3 odd years later (I will spare you the long story of how we got here), we are back together but even further apart now. Most people don't understand how much time goes into a long distance relationship, mainly because there are only a few measurable moments where we are actually together in the same city. Through of all our trial and errors, we've learned a few things:
1) Communication is absolutely necessary. Yes, my dear boyfriend, you are going to have to use your words to explain what is going on in your head even though you have a history of terrible communication.
2) Trust is key. Due to our past, I've had my moments of "what the hell am I getting into", but I think what makes me so certain is the complete trust I have in a man that I only get to see every so often.
3) The small things always make life a little sweeter. Voicemails. Sweet good morning text messages. Unexpected flowers. Snail Mail. I could go on forever about these small moments.
My list could probably go on forever about what makes a long distance relationship work. Granted, we are still learning things as we go and only looking so far into the future as the next trip that we are planning to see each other.
My series of long distance relationships has also helped me learn how to deal with the miles between me and my favorite people in the whole wide world. Moving to a city where you know absolutely no one is terrifying, yet exciting. I've lived in Baltimore for a little over 6 months now and I still love everything about this city. I do admit that not everyday is rainbows and butterflies, but rather stress and anxiety and moments of "Why did I move across the country". Countdowns, plans for Giants whooping Dodgers butt, and an immediate trip to In N Out with my best friend as soon as I land on June 29th keep me going everyday. My mother flies in tonight to Baltimore and I cannot wait to show her around and have her on the East Coast with me. I will hopefully update you with my travels from this upcoming weekend sometime early next week (or until my best friend bugs me again :)
No comments:
Post a Comment